Revelation 3:20 (KJV)
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

Last night (11/6/12) while watching the results for #Decision2012, I’ll admit that I fell asleep waiting for the concession and victory speeches.  I fought to stay awake the ENTIRE TIME, but fell victim to the sleep monster.  I saw portions of Romney’s speech… and the same for Obama, but the most memorable part of that night for me was being awakened by an unexpected visitor.

After all the speeches were made and electoral votes were in, I continued to doze off.  Asleep sitting up on the couch I hear a knock at the door.  It was loud enough to wake me up, so I wait to hear it again.  It was nearly 2 a.m. so I figured if someone was knocking it was important.  Sooooo, I fall asleep again.  AGAIN, I am awakened from my slumber by a knock at the door.  It was a little more difficult to wake up this time.  I began to utter something in my subconscious, but I remember looking at the door and trying to get to it.  Once fully awake I no longer hear it.  Noting the hour I figured my roommate was trying to wake me up so I could get in the bed.  I glanced down the hall and the lights were out in her room.  My friends who know me are aware that I can sleep through ANYTHING! So, Unable to keep my eyes open much longer…yep…I fall asleep AGAIN!  This time I am awakened by a more urgent knock at the door.  Again, it is hard to shake this sleep…I was in deep, but I remember barely opening my eyes, staring at the door, and trying to utter something.  My heart and spirit are still shaken.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been awakened from my sleep by a knock at my door.  In the summer of 2010 after toiling in my spirit regarding school and all of the crazy things that happened at the culmination of my graduate program, I was awakened by that very same knock.  The fact that it happened 3 times is what scared me the most.  Being a believer I went straight to the word.  There was one scripture found in the KJV that had contextual relation to “hearing” a knock, Rev. 3:20.  Contextually, Christ is giving direction to the church of the Laodiceans with regards to their being ‘lukewarm’… (#scary)… verse 20 is preceded by Christ stating…

19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 

With that being said, I repent of all sins committed knowingly and unknowingly.  I am a God chaser, I am on fire for him… at least to my understanding.  I know that I have been wrestling with my complete surrender for a WHILE…, but I’ve recently been making earnest efforts to re-position.  There are a few stains on my record that haven’t made the front page… But, with all the dedication to Kingdom building a bad decision (or two) and/or being slightly reluctant to LET GO (yes, I’m slightly afraid) has placed me spiritually in the church of Laodicea.  Personally, that’s #DEEP!  To think that someone can go their entire lives ‘working’, but without the complete surrender it is all for naught….  Yes, these are things we know, but when it hits home…..

Stepping out on faith isn’t as easy as it sounds.  Its like free-falling…  Its a BEAUTIFUL experience….I’ve done it before, and He has delivered in ways I can’t even begin to explain, but it is still SCARY!!!  He has shown me countless times the peace in obedience and submission.  For that I am undoubtedly pushing forward, but time is apparently of the essence.  With that, I solicit the prayers of my family and intercessors.  To my recollection He has come twice, which means he hasn’t given up on me despite my shortcomings…..  There is still yet work for me to do…  He still trusts me!!!!  I have opened the door of my heart.  I have released the hold I had on my hopes and dreams, and sincerely pray that His perfect will become mine.  I have a love for Christ that cannot be compared to that towards anyone else (mommy & daddy have 2nd on LOCK! LOL), and I don’t want to suffer eternally because of fear….so, I launch out further into the deep…further into the unknown…out to a place where only He has control….